So You Want To Work With Me #6: Respect My Boundaries
Maybe you discovered me via my website, or my Flickr feed. Maybe you ran across my name in a SL group, or just stumbled across my SL profile. What’s important is that you — a photographer or producer — found me, and now you’re interested in using me as talent in your art.
Let me say at the outset that I’m incredibly flattered by your interest and I do not take it for granted. Before you reach out to me, though, I want to give you a few tips, in the form of this series of short posts, to help ensure that our relationship not only gets off on the right foot, but remains positive and constructive through the completion of your project (and, hopefully, beyond). I want to work with you and help you be successful, and I make these suggestions in that spirit.
Somewhat related to my earlier post regarding the casting couch: the fact that I will do certain things in either Real or Second Life, be they in private or while performing, does not imply that I'm also interested in doing them with you off-camera. If you want to work with me on a project, let's work — and if over time our relationship comes to include extracurricular sex, great! But if the photography or the filming is just a pretext to get me into the sack, then all you're going to get from me is my rate card.
Also, while I am pretty sexually broadminded and willing to experiment, if I tell you that I'm not comfortable doing a certain thing, be willing to take no for an answer. Don't assume that I owe you an explanation for why I'm not comfortable, and don't try pressuring me to change my mind. Just accept it and move on.